I know, I know, groundbreaking news. But really. You can go days, weeks, months, years without thinking of them, but the second you see their face or their name gets mentioned, your stomach drops and you feel like you could puke. All of a sudden all the feelings you ever had for them come back to the surface again. And you hate yourself for how much control this person has over you. For how this one, sole person can still garner this type of reaction after all this time. 

You’re not over this person because you still want to see them naked. You would drop anything and everything you had for them. It almost feels good knowing that you want someone so bad. It drives you insane but it also weirdly brings a certain level of comfort and stability. No matter what happens, you’ll still always want to lie your naked body next to theirs.

You’re not over this person because you can still remember all their minute details, like the way their sweat smelled, their favorite song, or that night back in 8th grade when you held hands in the back of a car, that time you danced all night, or that time you finally kissed in the bleachers at school during the football game. These memories still reduce you to absolute mush even after all this time. 

You’re not over this person because they probably could never love you back the way you wanted them to, the way you’ve always needed them to. You tried so damn hard to end these feelings once and for all but it never worked. And it never will. Your business with them will always be unfinished. You never could conquer them. And because of that you’ve never gotten closure. You’ve got to get closure on your own. You have to accept that this person will never give you the answers you want them to. 

It really sucks to have this one person in your life that could derail you at any moment. But in a way, it feels good knowing that you could love someone so much, more than you ever thought was possible. Or that’s what you tell yourself anyway. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. The things you tell yourself can become your truth.